Adrift

[uhdrift]
adjective, adverb

1. floating without control;drifting; not anchored or moored:

The survivors were adrift in the rowboat for three days.

2. lacking aim, direction, or stability.

Today’s one-word prompt is similar to unmoored, however it gives me more of a negative feeling. This might just be due to my day, though. As stated yesterday, I am learning to let go of my stress, and take things as they come (as much as possible), in hopes that I can learn to be more flexible and less stressed out in general.

Today, drifting aimlessly scares me a little bit more. I had the most horrible pressure headache for the majority of the day, and I just felt useless. I felt directionless. All I could think about was the bills that needed to be paid, the laundry that needed to be done, the dog that needed to be walked. Even now, thinking about this is stressing me out again… Stop, back on track. Today, I was able to accomplish many things I have been anxious to do. Mostly just phone calls and bills paid, but I did it. I didn’t need to feel stressed before and certainly not now.

Earlier I felt adrift, and not in the good sense of what I had expressed hope for yesterday. I felt lost, overwhelmed with the sea at my helm, and unable to control the ship. I finally meditated and calmed myself down after probably making my head pain worse. From there I was able to get some actual rest. It was not long until the thoughts came back, but once I took a break within my mind, let the sea just go. I didn’t follow the cars as they went by – As I heard on Headspace once. (Great app, by the way – strongly recommend) I felt the positive form of adrift, and was able to feel free, and disconnected from the worries. As opposed to a fisherman trying to control the ship, I just let it go, and felt the ride for a few moments of my day.

Once I let go, I was able to get up (despite the headache) and get some things done. I paid the bills, made the calls I needed to make, I rotated the laundry, walked the dog, etc. Oh, it felt great. I may not have physically felt the best, but I felt accomplished.
It’s strange though, how that feeling only lasts so long. I wish I could learn how to hold onto it longer before the racing thoughts creep back. Tomorrow’s a new day, and I am learning from today.

via Daily Prompt: Adrift

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